Avast Ye Ans
by lolzwaitwhat
Summary: Hey guys! Here's a fresh one for you. It's based off of an older episode of Ed, Edd 'n Eddy, 'Avast Ye Eds'. Why this one, you may ask? Well, because it has the Kanker brothers chasing An, Ann 'n Anny while dressed as pirates. Need I say more? Anyway, I hope you all like it!


"THRILL OF A LIFETIME! ONLY TWENTY-FIVE CENTS!" Anny cried, holding up a sign that said "25¢ a ride" in big red letters. Sam passed by on his bike, ignoring Anny's cry. Nate followed, riding by with a relaxed smile and no idea that Anny had just been talking.

"ONLY TWENTY-FIVE CENTS!" She said to them again, a little annoyed that she had been ignored. "REAL CHEAP FOR A THRILL!" She informed them as Rachel chuckled by on her unicycle.

Anny frowned, frustrated that no one was listening to her or interested in what she had to offer, "What's the big deal, it only costs a lousy quarter!" she grumbled, then tossed down her sign in anger with an irritated growl and stomped towards her friends, her fists clenched and at her sides. She looked at her friends.

Double-N was sitting still on a giant inner tube that they had found in Anny's garage and An was standing right next to her, neither of them doing_ anything_ helpful. Anny sighed, the girls were trying to make some extra money. Honestly, this wasn't the greatest idea they'd ever had, but it was hot and they wanted to earn enough money to buy a few popsicles to beat the heat since Anny's mom forgot to buy them at the grocery store, Ann's mom didn't really buy a lot of sweets for her daughter since they weren't good for her, and An's jerk of a brother, Sam, ate the last three right in front of them, just to rub it in their faces that they now couldn't have any.

An had blown up the inner tube until it had become taller then her. The girls then found a short rope and tied it to a tree that was high enough so the inflatable ring could become a tire swing and not scrape against the hot pavement.

Double-N sat as still as a statue, fearful to fall off the tube face first like An had done earlier. She had started sweating a while ago, and, to her horror, found her skin sticking to the inner tube.

An stared up into the sky, then waved at a bird she saw. An liked birds. Chickens were birds, and she _loved_ chickens, so she liked birds.

Anny looked at her friends, irritated, "What are you girls doing?" she snapped, "Waiting for a bus?"

Double-N shifted uncomfortably on the inner tube, trying to pull her skin off the hot black inner tube without burning herself and An continued to wave, then looked over at her frustrated friend, finally realizing that she was speaking to her.

"We have to show these folks how much fun this ride is! So they'll cough up some cash!" Anny explained, rubbing her index fingers and thumbs together in the air for her friends to remind them why they were doing this.

Double-N looked down at the inner tube, wondering how she was supposed to make it look like fun when she couldn't even sit on it comfortably. Then she felt the inner tube tilt forwards, she gripped it as best she could and glanced back, frightened, "Oh dear!" she cried, then looked down to see An holding the inner tube above her head, ready to throw it, "Doughnuts are made for dunking!" She told her, then flung Double-N until the rope tugged her back towards An, "AN!" Double-N cried, "ANNY!" She wanted off this ride, now!

An grabbed the bottom and threw it again, "DUNK THE DOUGHNUT!" she shouted as the black rubber left her fingertips.

"I think…erk! I think I'm going to be ill!" Double-N cried, holding one hand over her mouth as she flew in the air.

"I'd pay a quarter for that!" Anny said, pleased that the ride now looked like fun, she then looked at her tall, dense friend, "HIGHER AN!" she called out, excited. With this new ride, maybe they could even get a whole box of popsicles!

An grabbed the inner tube again, laughing, then threw it with all her strength. As the inner tube flung into the air once more, the rope finally snapped from the strain of An pushing it and flung Double-N into a bumpy ride as she spun all the way down in the center of the speeding inner tube towards the kids, who were biking by the creek. Double-N rolled over Jamie on the way, "Heavens to Betsy!" she cried, "SAM!" but she was run over before he could even see what happened. The kids looked over and saw the big tube rolling towards them.

"HHEEELLLPPP!" Double-N cried as she neared them, the other kids screamed in terror, only for the inner tube to bounce against a rock and send Double-N screaming into the air, "ANNY!" before she and the inner tube landed into the creek, the force of the fall pushing water up from under her and launching her back into the air and to land on the inner tube again, feeling dizzy, her mouth full of water.

The kids looked down at her, surprised that it had been Double-N who had dashed towards them.

"Double-N-An girl flew faster then my father's shoe on bath night!" Rachel exclaimed, obviously impressed.

Double-N finally stopped feeling lightheaded and managed to pull herself up on the inner tube to open her mouth and let a mouthful of water squirt out of the gap in her teeth in an arc, like a fountain.

"Egads!" Jamie cried at the sight of her.

Karen glared at them, "Are you _dorks_ up to something?" she demanded, annoyed.

Anny was stunned, still trying to figure out what just happened, the moment the rope snapped she panicked, it had all happened so fast.

An was An, so she just stood there smiling blankly at them.

"What?" Anny replied nervously after giving herself a moment to get it together, "Uh… we were just… uh…" She had to think fast, she couldn't let them all think that it had all been an accident, they'd be laughing stocks! Then she got it, "Launching our new luxury cruise line!" she cried, giving the kids a winning smile, "For a small fee, we offer two lucky passengers a relaxing cruise." Anny then indicated her disoriented and moaning friend on the inner tube, "Look how relaxed Double-N is." She said. Double-N was softly gasping as she tried to slow her heart rate back down to normal, her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

"Who's in for the thrill of a lifetime?" Anny asked them. Karen, Rachel, Nate and Sam looked thoughtful, considering the idea of going on a cruise with the Ans and one other person.

"I've never been on a boat cruise before!" Jenny exclaimed excitedly, clutching Plankette close to her chest.

"It's so romantic!" Jamie cried dreamily.

"Only twenty-five cents!" Anny informed them, holding out a jar. The kids jumped up and down, raising their hands and eagerly shouting, "ME! ME! ME!"

Anny smiled, not only had they saved face, but now they could make money _and_ keep cool by the creek. She was a genius! "Am I good or what?" she whispered to An.

"You're number two, Anny!" she replied cheerfully, accidently knocking her over with her hand as she held up two fingers to show her.

.

.

.

Later, after the Ans had informed the other kids to pack up a suitcase and everything they needed and to slather up with sunscreen, they began working on converting the inner tube into a small boat to cruise the creek with. When they had finished, they made a big sign that said 'Anny's Creek Cruise' and Anny and Double-N did last minute preparations while An sat by the sign, threw torn up toilet paper confetti into the air. An wore a paper sailor hat she had made out of an old newspaper proudly on her head.

"Hurry, Jenny!" Jamie cried excitedly as the two dashed up to the boat, bringing nothing but the clothes on their backs, water wings for Jamie, Plankette and their quarters. An held out a jar for the girls to deposit the coins in, "Captain Anny says to take their dough." An said cheerfully as Jamie dropped in her coin and dashed aboard, admiring the boat. Jenny walked up to An, smiling as she deposited her coin into the jar, "Nice hat, An." she complimented. An's smile grew bigger, "Thanks Jenny!" An said happily. Jenny then hopped onto the boat, excited. An went back to throwing torn TP as she told the approaching Rachel, holding a suitcase and a camera wrapped around her neck, her sunglasses sitting on her pleased face. "Captain Anny says only two suckers at a time." An said, a little apologetic in her tone. Rachel nodded, understanding.

"Hot diggity dog, Jenny!" Jamie cried, as the two girls dashed towards the makeshift boat, excitement gleaming in their eyes, "Look, a bridge!" she said, then stopped and looked down at it, the 'bridge' was a rope tied to various objects that the Ans had found in the junkyard earlier and tied to the edge of the creek and the An's cruise ship. There were logs, skis, old dog bones, heck, there was even an old boot!

"Is it safe, Captain Anny?" Jamie asked nervously as she looked down at the junk bridge.

"Is it safe?" Anny asked, sounding as if it was the silliest thing she'd ever heard. She wore a captain's hat and her movie star sunglasses. Then gave them a confident smile, "What are ya? Come on, squirts!" she urged, giving them a friendly wave, "The cruise awaits!" she said dramatically.

Jamie and Jenny looked at each other and walked forward. Jamie took a few steps on the bridge, while Jenny and Plankette were right behind her, "It seems to be holding out." Jamie said, uncertain if her words were true or not.

"Looks safe to me." Jenny said, her voice free of any worry or doubt as she followed her fluffy haired friend across the bridge.

However, ironically, as soon as the words left her mouth, the bridge gave way and the girls hovered in mid air, their legs flailing in the air before they fell into the water with a splash.

Anny and Double-N quickly rushed over to the side and pulled the two wet girls out of the creek, "Looks like you got a soaker girls." Anny said, trying to brush the failure of their bridge off as nothing as Double-N, despite her lack of strength, managed to pull Jamie out of the water and onto their raft and she yanked Jenny and Plankette onboard. "Welcome aboard Anny's Creek Cruise!" she greeted happily.

Once their passengers were safely onboard in the middle of the raft, Anny took a look at the two girls, Jenny seemed fine, but Jamie was a wreck.

"You look like a drowned rat." Anny said sympathetically, then pulled out a paper towel with a piece of paper taped to it that read "Anny's Creek Cruise."

"Here, have a complimentary towel." She said, handing it to her, "Don't lose it, it's the only one I've got." She muttered as Jamie took it, unimpressed. Jenny patted her on the shoulder, "Captain Anny, the boat seems quite sound, how did you manage the inflation of the bow?" she asked. Anny looked at her for a second, unsure of what she just said, then she rubbed her chin, looking thoughtful, "Hmmm…" she said, then noticed An swimming up to the boat, her hat somehow managing to stay on her head as she came towards the boat, "Oh look!" Anny cried, pointing An out to Jenny to dodge the question. "Here comes our engineerical second class yo-girl." She said, as An climbed up the side, sopping wet, "Yo, Anny." She said happily.

Double-N unfurled the sail, which, to her disgust and her friends' amusement, was a pair of boxer shorts that Anny's mom had bought for her dad to wear, but he never did since it was purple with green polka dots, which he found really embarrassing for a grown man to wear. So he'd always toss it in the wash to make his wife believe that he wore them, but never really did. Even though it had never been worn, Double-N had been uncomfortable with using undergarments as a sail. But they couldn't use any linens without their mothers finding out and getting mad at them and Double-N refused to go look in the dump for a cloth to use for the sail, so the boxer shorts expanded in the breeze and was ready to help them set forth on their cruise.

An pulled a rope and pulled out a stove with a hook through it out of the water, "Um, Anny, do you think my mom can still use this?" she asked, a little remorseful that she had just ran into her house and snagged the stove for their anchor without even checking to see if there was anything else she could use instead.

Double-N held up a jug and blew into the open top, making a loud noise that informed their little group of their impending departure and giving An enough of a distraction that she had completely forgotten how bad she had felt for tearing the large appliance out of her kitchen. "We're set for launch, Anny!" Double-N informed her, a smile growing on her face.

"Everybody comfy?" she asked them, then put her hands on either side of her mouth, to amplify her already loud voice and shout, "LET'S SET SAIL!"

Jamie and Jenny clapped and cheered enthusiastically, eager to go on their very first cruise despite how it had started.

"FULL SPEED THAT A WAY!" Anny cried, pointing down the creek while clinging to the mast, a proud smile on her face. This cruise thing was not only a great way to make money and keep cool, but it was also pretty fun! Anny liked being the captain, but, then again, Anny always liked it when she was in charge and the center of attention.

An hopped to the back of the raft and put her legs into the water and began to kick, "Kick my feet. Kick my feet." She cheered as the boat began it's way down the creek.

"Hey sailor, I'm parched." Jamie said to Double-N, then pointed to the cooler, "What have you got in your treasure chest?"

Double-N smiled as she opened the cooler, "Well, Jamie," she said as she opened it and reveal the variety of delicious (and healthy) snacks she had made for their trip, "The refreshments I prepared are carefully blended fruit juices, guaranteed to quench a thirst _and_ prevent scurvy." She informed her as she pulled a blue thermos from the cooler, poured a cup of juice and served it to her, proud of the culinary selection she had crafted for this outing.

Jamie took the cup gratefully and looked inside, "This juice is full of pulp!" she cried, disappointed. Double-N was a little taken aback at Jamie's dislike of her juice without even trying, she was even a little hurt and insulted. She fought herself from pouting, not wanting to make an unpleasant moment worse, and informed Jamie that she had a few other options and would fetch her something else, she then took the cup and held it out to Jenny, "Jenny?" she offered. Jenny gave her a big smile and accepted it gratefully, "Thanks, Double-N!" she said sweetly, then looked over at her wooden friend, "_Fruit_ pulp, Plankette, _fruit_ pulp." Jenny clarified then told her to "Rellaaxxx" as she took a sip from the cup with a pleasant expression.

"LAND HO!" Anny cried, gathering her peers' attention. Jamie, Jenny and Double-N looked around enthusiastically, "Where Anny, where?" Jenny asked eagerly as her large round head glanced from left to right, her cup and Plankette in one hand while she covered her eyes with the other, shading them from the sun.

"Land h'Over there," Anny said, spreading her arms out and indicating to their left,

"And Land h'Over there." She said, indicating her right, then straightened, proud of her pun.

The girls laughed at the joke, except for Jenny, who hadn't gotten it and looked at Anny, confused.

"It's a joke, Jenny, lighten up." Anny said with a warm smile, then explained it to her, not knowing that 'h'Over there' was not too far from the trailer park.

In the park, the boys were doing their chores, Tee and Larie were hanging up their laundry while Jay was bringing out the next load. They did their laundry every month or so, when their clothes were too gross to even pass the one sniff test. They were putting their clothes out to dry outside, mumbling and groaning about having to do their stupid chores when it was such a nice day, and they could be doing better things with it.

Like chasing their Ans around and pouncing on them so they rolled in the soft, green grass hugging their girls and covering them with kisses.

Jay scowled as he dropped the basket of sopping wet clothes onto the ground between his brothers, "We oughta get a girl to do these chores!" he whined, frowning at the laundry as if it was it's own fault that it got so disgusting and not theirs.

After the laundry they had to clean the dishes, their bedroom and finally, they to mow the grass around their trailer. The boys sighed as they finally resigned that this day was gonna totally suck.

Jay then reached inside and pulled out a hot dog, which was now completely spotless and very soggy and had a few soap bubbles on it, "Nice and clean," he said happily. His brothers looked at him, disgusted.

"That's gross." Larie said plainly.

"Yeah, Jay, you put that in with our underwear, don't put it in your mouth." Tee said, hoping his brother would comply. Jay ignored his brothers and opened his mouth wide, ready to chow down, only for a familiar voice to cry out, "PLUG UP THE POSTERN! FIRE UP THE HATCHES! REWIND THAT TAPE!"

Tee perked up, that was _Anny's_ voice. He'd know it anywhere, mainly because she was so loud, but even if it wasn't, he had a feeling that he'd know it. He turned towards the direction that Anny's voice was coming from, "Hey!" he cried, a smile curling up his lips, as he pointed towards the trees, "Look!"

'Maybe today wasn't going to suck after all.' He thought as his brothers finally spotted the Ans through the trees, going down the creek on a make-shift raft, "TORK OUT THE JOMBY-HOMES!" Anny cried happily, she had no idea what she was even saying, but it sounded like something a captain might shout to their sailors. Plus, it was fun, she couldn't believe how well this was turning out.

"IT'S THE ANS!" Jay cheered, tossing the soggy hot dog over his shoulder, his smile lighting up his face as he stared at the raft, noticing An in the back kicking as if she was a motor, pushing the girls forward with a smile on her face.

"Ain't they cute?" Larie asked dreamily, his smile wide and his tongue poking out the side as he stared at Double-N longingly while she passed out a few snacks to the other girls.

"I just wanna hug my little loud mouth." Tee told his brothers, cradling his arms as if Anny was inside them instead of shouting random commands at the others on the raft.

"What is she even saying?" Jay asked Tee, Tee whacked him on the head, "It's boat talk, stupid." He snapped, as if it were obvious. He had no idea if what he was saying was true, but Anny was wearing a captain's hat and sitting on a boat, so what else could she be saying, because Tee knew that there was _no way _his girl would just shout random nonsense, she was _way_ too proud to do _that_.

They watched their girls for a minute, then finally noticed Jamie and Jenny with them, laughing and enjoying Double-N's snacks. They frowned, how come _those two_ got to have fun with their girls, sailing on the water, eating their hand made snacks and laughing with them while _they_ were stuck doing their stupid chores?

"Aw man!" Jay cried as the boat went further down the creek and out of sight, "Our girls are getting away!" he said, pouting a bit.

"Well, since our girls like the water so much, maybe we should become pirates?" Larie suggested, thrilled at the thought of taking Double-N as his own personal treasure, "I'd love me some of _that_ booty, mateys." He said with a grin.

"YEAH!" Jay agreed, his eyes wide with excitement, "We could make our own ship and take the Ans as our prisoners of love!"

"And make the other two walk the plank!" Larie added, smiling deviously.

"Well then, mateys," Tee said with a big smile as he pulled a few half dry items from the line, and tossed them at his brothers, "We better get started."

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.

.

"CHOKE THAT LAWN SPRINKLER! BATTEN DOWN THE POOP DECK!" Anny cried as Jenny and Jamie munched on ham and cheese sandwiches and fresh orange slices (to prevent scurvy.) and Double-N handed a sandwich to An, who took it gratefully and happily took a bite and chewed while saying, "Kick my feet. Kick my feet."

"Don't talk with your mouth full, An." Double-N reminded her as she handed her a cup of her special juice. An slurped up a sip and smiled.

"It's yummy, Double-N!" An said to her friend, very pleased with her lunch. Double-N smiled and patted her on the head, "Well, I'm very glad you like it, An." she said sweetly. Then went to give Anny her lunch before retrieving her own from the cooler. Then Anny called for An to hop up to the crows nest and keep watch, "After all, safety is one of our biggest concerns!" Anny said. Making both Jenny and Jamie relax a bit, relieved.

Jamie was relieved that they were so active in assuring that they would be safe while Jenny was relieved that there was plenty of danger and adventure awaiting them on this trip. Plankette didn't really care, she just enjoyed the pleasant breeze and the fact that she could chill near the water without becoming bloated with water.

An climbed up and Double-N lent her a telescope to look through, only for An to look through the wrong way. But it was An, so they all let it slide.

Anny's voice came out of the speaker as she huffed into the microphone, "Is this thing on?" she asked softly.

"Anny, just speak into the mike." Double-N instructed, her voice managing to slip out of the speaker as well, despite her soft tone.

"You mean like this?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Anny said, then cleared her throats, "Welcome passengers!" Her cheerful voice greeted as it blared out of the speaker, "I'm Captain Anny of Anny's Creek Cruise, Where you get more bang for your buck!" she said, proud of the last minute tag line she had made up on the spot. Jamie and Jenny sat and clapped, eager to see what the Ans had in store for them next, wearing sunglasses and looking pretty pleased and relaxed. "I'd like you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing sounds of Eighty-Eight Fingered Ann!" She said, indicating her friend like she was a game show host showing the contestants their prize. Double-N sat in front of what looked like a small table, covered in strings with screws holding the strings to the top of the table. On one hand she had a long piece of white pointed plastic that extended from rings on her index finger and thumb, in the other hand she had a small white bar pressed firmly to the strings.

Double-N didn't look amused or pleased sitting behind the thing, but Jamie and Jenny were thrilled to see what she could do, clapping enthusiastically, their faces eager and excited. She sighed.

"This instrument is _so_ annoying." She grumbled, then, with a bored expression on her face, began to play a fast, complicated song without even looking down.

Anny, Jenny and Jamie looked at her, their eyes were wide and their mouths resembled the letter 'O'. An managed to flip herself over so her knees were on the edge of the crow's nest basket while the rest of her hung upside down to watch her brainy friend's performance, amazed that she could play like that. Her hat flopped onto Jenny's head as Double-N stretched a bit, lifting her thin body over the instrument, still looking jaded. She then put her feet on the board, not breaking the song as her shoes quickly skimmed the strings in place of her fingers. Double-N pulled a book out from beside the cooler and began to read it, still playing the song perfectly as they drifted down the creek.

After the show and the other girls' astonishment at what they had just witnessed faded a bit, they resumed their positions and went back to what they were doing. Anny then wrapped up Double-N's performance with "And that was Eighty-eight fingered _and toed_ Ann, everybody!" The other girls clapped with vigor, truly amazed by Double-N's performance. She did humble curtsy and then put the annoying thing away. Jamie watched Double-N with admiration as she sat back down and asked Jamie if she'd like some more sunscreen. Jamie nodded and took it from her, then began coating herself with thick white sunscreen. An retrieved her hat from Jenny's head and plopped it back onto her own as she pulled herself back up onto the crow's nest.

Jenny reached over and let her fingertips glide into the water, holding Plankette in her other hand as she admired how refreshing and soothing the cool water felt as it slipped through her fingers. "There's something about the high seas that makes me yearn for adventure, Plankette." She said to her porous friend, who didn't reply.

Jamie climbed up to Anny, who looked a bit tired and was leaning against the mast, "Anny! We've run out of refreshments!" then she looked a bit bashful as she added, "And this rubber tube is giving me a rash..." Anny looked at her wearily, "Hey, kid, I'm on my break, 'ya mind?" she asked, her exhaustion present in her voice. She had been shouting out orders as well as nonsense for what felt like hours and it was starting to take it's toll. Anny had no idea how she and her friends were going to keep this up all day, this cruise stuff was exhausting. And Jamie whined about _everything_, she whined about the food Double-N had made for them, she whined about getting her hair wet, she whined about getting a rash from the inner tube, Anny and her friends had been good sports so far, but Jamie was starting to get on her nerves. Was there _anything_ that made this girl happy?

Jenny, however, was the opposite, other then not getting one of Anny's jokes earlier, she was the ideal passenger, she never complained, she never whined, she just enjoyed the cruise and relaxed. She enjoyed and even complimented the food, she laughed off getting wet, accepting that they were on the water so getting wet would happen. Jenny was relaxed and was having a good time.

"Captain Anny!" Jenny cried, pointing behind them, "Look!" she said, a little excited, pointing to a quickly approaching dot in the distance.

"What is it, An?" Anny called up to her, trying to hide the anxiousness in her voice. An turned around, the telescope still the wrong way, and squinted through it, "I can't see Anny, it's too far away!" An replied with a pout.

"You're looking through the wrong end!" Anny shouted, annoyed and a little nervous, whatever that thing was, it was coming towards them, _fast._ "Gimme that thing!" Anny ordered, An dropped on her head, An looked down biting her lip, "sorry Anny." She said, truly apologetic.

Anny growled and snatched up the telescope and scanned the horizon, trying to find the approaching… "What the…" Her eyes widened in horror, for through the lens of the telescope, she saw…

The _Kanker Brothers. _

They stood on an old mattress that she recognized from the junkyard, the mast seemed to be part of an old satellite dish and they used what looked like old netting to make a ladder to their crows nest. They had duct-tapped an old lawn flamingo to the front as well. Their sail seemed to be a black bed sheet with white paint leaking from the middle. And the boys were dressed as…

"Uh oh." Anny said, feeling a cold chill down her spine.

The Kankers noticed that Anny was watching them through their telescope.

"Hiya Girls!" they said, giving them flirtatious waves and devious smiles.

"PIRATES!" Anny cried.

Yes, the Kanker brothers were dressed like pirates.

Jay wore an eye patch over his right eye and had a piece of wood tied to his foot, the wood was probably supposed to be a peg leg. He looked at the boat with a huge buck toothed grin that made An's timbers shiver in fear of the blonde buccaneer.

Larie wore an orange bandana on his head and had tied the hook from a hanger to his black wrist band, emulating a prosthetic hook hand. He looked at his lass with a lust that made Double-N want to jump overboard to swim away from the blue-haired brigand.

And Tee wore a pirate captain's hat and old brown overcoat that had thick shoulder pads over his usual clothes, he had strapped an old Cuckoo bird from an old Cuckoo clock onto his shoulder, the annoying fake bird was probably the closest he'd get to a parrot. He smirked at Anny's Creek Cruise Raft and her crew with a dark glee in his eyes that the girls could see even through his thick red curls and made Anny wish that the wannabe pirate would just walk the plank and leave them alone already!

"PIRATES!" Double-N and Jamie cried out, panicked and fear stricken, while Jenny echoed them excitedly, as if she had been waiting for something like this all day.

Jamie grabbed Jenny into a tight hug, shaking fearfully, "Pirates like to rough house! I'm scared!" she whimpered.

"Do they?" Jenny asked, eager to know if there was going to be any action.

Anny looked up to the crow's nest, her heart beating wildly with fear, "AN!" she cried, "FIRE UP THE ENGINE!" An's face shifted from fearful to determined as she saluted her short friend, "ROGER WALNUT, ANNY!" she shouted and hopped down from the crow's nest and onto the inner tube, making the other girls bounce up and down, shrieking a bit as An scrambled to the edge of the raft and quickly dunked her feet into the water, "Kick my feet. Kick my feet. Kick my feet." She said, slowly picking up some speed.

"FASTER AN!" Anny cried, gripping the mast with white knuckles.

"Kick my feet faster. Kick my feet faster. Kick my feet faster." She said as her feet flailed faster in the water, giving them a little more speed.

"I love it when they play hard to get." Tee snickered, "Alright, mateys!" he cried to his brothers, "LET'S COMMADIRE THEIR SHIP AND GET OUR TREASURES!"

"AYE CAPTAIN!" His brothers cheered. Larie licked his lips and Jay chuckled evilly, both itching to get their hands on the Creek Cruise's Crew.

"We're being chased by pirates, Plankette! Oh boy!" Jenny told her wooden friend, her eyes bright with joy at the wild adventure they had been lucky enough to be caught up in. Jamie, however, did not share Jenny's excitement at their current situation, "SOMEBODY GET ME OFF THIS MERRY-GO-ROUND CALLED LIFE!" she cried melodramatically.

The Kankers watched as An was somehow managing to increase the distance between their boats.

"ARG!" Tee cried, then looked to his crew, "Let's show our lovely lasses what happens to landlubbers in our waters, boys!" They nodded and the three of them began lowering their sail, revealing it to be a black bed sheet with a white skull painted on it, only, instead if cross bones, the painted bones resembled the letter 'K'.

The large sheet picked up the prevailing wind and quickly shortened the distance between the two boats as Anny turned her back on it and said, "We'll hit shore in no time and run like cowards."

"Um, Anny?" Double-N said, tapping her shoulder, her voice filled with panic.

"You can thank me later, Double-N." Anny said, turning around, confident that they had put enough distance between themselves and the Kankers that they could land and run home and hide before the Kankers could pull ashore. When she saw how close the Kankers were, she screamed along An, Double-N and Jamie while Jenny looked excited that the dastardly pirates had managed to catch up with them.

"Arg! Stop testing your luck, ladies," Tee advised, his smile wide with cunning and glee. They had them right where they wanted them, their 'treasures' would soon be returned to their rightful places, which was in their arms being smooched by the three of them. "Just give us our treasures or you'll be walking the plank straight to Davey Jones Locker!"

"AN! DO SOMETHING!" Anny cried, quaking with fright, she had no idea what they meant by 'their treasures', but she knew it meant nothing good for her and her friends. 'All we wanted to do was buy some stupid popsicles to beat the heat!' Anny thought, 'Was _that_ too much to ask for? And now, because of this stupid cruise, we're being chased by crazy pirate-impersonating Kankers!'

"Ahoy!" An said, then pulled herself out of the water and yanked her ear, making her lips vibrate quickly, but it only lasted for a few seconds. An frowned, then tried again, getting the same result. Finally, she yanked her ear farther then she had before and her lips continued to vibrate, much to her relief as she then put her mouth in the water and used it as a motor to push the girls further away from the Dreaded Pirate Kankers. The sudden speed boost made the raft wobble up and down on either side, Double-N and Anny held on for dear life as their passengers sat on the sides of the raft.

"Oh the misery!" Jamie groaned, her face pale and her nails clinging to the side of the raft.

"WAHOO! HOO! HANG ON, PLANKETTE!" Jenny laughed, riding her side like a bucking bull, loving every second of it.

Jamie came back up, soaked from the water, shaking and looking as if she was about to be sick.

The boys looked at the girl's boat shrinking in the distance, stunned for a moment, then Tee gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. 'All we wanted was to spend a little smooching time with our girls,' he thought, 'is_ that_ too much to ask?'

"Our treasures are getting away, Captain!" Jay cried.

"Not for long, mateys." Larie purred as he started up the lawn edger in the back and shoved it into the water, using it as a make-shift motor. The boys surged forward and began to circle the girls, their smiles growing as their girls spun from the waves they created and finally were pushed down onto the raft by a wave, disorienting them and getting them soaking wet.

"Anny, I'm_ so_ wet!" Double-N cried, looking upset.

"No hard feelings, lassies!" Tee called down to them from high up in their netting, smirking at their victory. Anny groaned as she pulled herself up off the cooler, her clothes and hair were soaked and she shook as the breeze that had been pushing them along suddenly made her feel cold.

"Aye!" Larie cried, "We only want what's rightfully ours."

"So let's kiss and make up, mateys!" Jay suggested eagerly. The boys each popped a breath mint into their mouth and smiled at the Ans, who shook with fear at the sham pirates as they puckered their lips, ready to plunder kisses from the Ans.

"Oh look!" Jamie cried, clinging to the mast and pointing to the boy's crow's nest. The Ans and Kankers looked up, surprised to see Jenny on top of the Kanker's sail, Plankette in her hands, looking quite pleased with herself.

She then thrusted her wooden friend through the cloth and leapt down, tearing a huge hole in the boys' sail.

"That chick is ripping our sail!" Larie cried angrily as she then leapt off their boat and into the water, Plankette in her mouth as she surfaced near the An's boat. The girls cheered as they pulled her back onboard and cheered for her.

"Just like Arrow Finn!" Jamie cried as Jenny plopped down into the boat, looking proud of herself.

The boys looked at the sail, "Those were _my_ sheets!" Tee growled, then pulled a clothespin from his back pocket, leftover from when they were doing laundry earlier, "Time for the heavy artillery, boys." He seethed. Larie and Jay looked at each other, then their angry captain, "don't you think that's a bit extreme?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, I mean, it's not the An's fault." Larie agreed, "It's that chick with the huge head."

He glared at his brothers and held out the pin, "sink 'um, Jay." He ordered. Jay and Larie sighed, then Jay kneeled down and pulled out a sling shot and took the clothes pin from his older brother. "Larie! My patch!"

Larie pulled the patch up so Jay could take aim with the eye that had the patch over it, closing the patch-less eye, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he aimed it _just _right. He then fired, crying out, "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" as he launched the clothes pin deep into the inner tube.

"Look!" Jamie cried, pointing at the approaching clothespin, the pin buried itself into the tube and Jamie leapt back, "Jenny! Save us!"

"I'm the captain! I'll handle it!" Anny cried, tired of being a scaredy cat and ready to show the Kankers that they couldn't just push the Ans around like this. She stomped over the side and looked at the clothes pin stuck in the inner tube, "What's this?" she chuckled, "A clothes pin?" She laughed for a bit and began to tug. "What the…? It's stuck!" she said, then tugged harder.

Jamie hugged An, shaking and terrified, An and Jenny just looked confused that the Kankers had just launched a clothes pin at them.

"Almost got it!" Anny said.

Double-N's eyes widened with fear as her mind reeled through the calculations, if her theory was right, and it probably was then that meant if Anny pulled that clothespin out…

"Anny!" Double-N cried, running towards her, "NO!" but as the word left her lips, Anny finally yanked the wooden clothes pin free from the black rubber with a "HA!"

The girls screamed as air shot out of their raft, the pieces of their ship falling into the water as they were launched backwards. An scooped up the other girls into her arms as the inner tube shrunk smaller and smaller until An was standing on it with one foot on her tippy toes. Then Anny's Creek Cruise Ship sank from beneath them, the girls falling into the water with a splash and a scream.

The Kankers smiled as they pulled the survivors of the An's shipwreck aboard, chuckling at their newly acquired prisoners as the girls quaked with fear.

Jay tied the Ans to their mast with clothes line while Larie snatched Plankette from Jenny and nailed her to the mattress, much to her dismay, "PLANKETTE!" she cried, reaching for her wooden friend, but Jamie held her back, fearful of what might happen if she tried to take on the Kankers alone. Tee smiled down at Jenny and Jamie, making their blood chill at the sight of him, "The plank ready, Larie?" he calmy asked his brother, Larie smirked, "Aye, Captain!"

"Are the treasures secure, Jay?" he asked his other brother. Jay smiled eagerly, "Aye, Captain!"

Tee smiled evilly, looking down at Jenny and Jamie, who were shaking and hugging each other. The boys then pulled out their make shift swords, Tee's was the light thing that air traffic control guys used to help planes land safely, Larie's was an old gold club and Jay's was what looked like a large mascara brush.

Tee jabbed at the two with his fake sword and motioned them to where Larie had nailed Plankette to the mattress, "It's time for you two to walk the plank." He purred as Jay and Larie swiped them from either side, forcing them to get up and run towards the plank, both looking upset and scared. Tee then jabbed at them until they began stepping on Plankette, much to Jenny's horror.

"Walk the plank you sniveling squirts!" he snapped, jabbing at them again, his brothers chuckled behind him.

"Lets get this over with, Jenny." Jamie said, defeated.

Jenny looked down at the wood board they were standing on, "Oh my! I'm walking all over Plankette's face!" she cried, upset that she was hurting her friend.

"Keep walking!" Tee ordered, jabbing at them some more, Jamie began to cry as the girls wobbled on Plankette's face.

"WALK! WALK!" the Kankers began to chant, the Ans stared in horror of the happy pirates as they began to bounce on their boat, making the board wobble from under the girls' feet, "FORGIVE ME PLANKETTE!" Jenny cried as the two girls slipped off the plank.

"AHH! MY HAIR!" Jamie cried as she hit the water.

The boys laughed at their prisoners plummet off the plank and turned to the Ans, who cowered in their restraints, terrified at the boys.

"Time to collect our booty, mateys." Tee purred. The boys crept to the girls, laughing and smiling as their treasures tried in vain to free themselves.

"NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!" Double-N cried as the boys shadows blocked out the sun and the sound of puckering lips got closer.

The girls screamed as the pirates sliced them free and each took one of them as his personal treasure trove of kisses and began smothering them with affection as they aimed their boat back towards home.

.

.

.

Later, back at the Anny's Creek Cruise's sign. Rachel tosses her quarters in her hands, sitting on her suitcase, an old broth jug beside her, waiting for the Ans to return so she can go on her cruise.

She watched as the Ans emerged from the water, their clothes torn and their wet hair (and in Double-N's case, her hat as well) hung in their faces.

"Hello An girls!" Rachel cried, her smile radiating with excitement and joy, "When is the next sailing? Rachel's skin begs for sun and sweat."

Double-N reached out to her and handed her the deflated inner tube.

"Huh?" Rachel asked, confused, then looked up at the Ans. Double-N ringed out her hat and her hair, then flipped them out of her face, revealing her face to be covered in pink hickies, her eyes red from crying and her lips a little swollen as well, "I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable." Double-N lamented, her voice a little hoarse from screaming for help with no avail and she seemed tired.

"But alas, the sea is a cruel jerk." Anny agreed, her face was also covered in pink hickies, her eyes, too were red from crying and her voice was also hoarse. She seemed exhausted as well.

"I'm stumped." An said, her voice also hoarse from screaming and she, like her friends, was also covered in hickies and her eyes were red from crying, water poured from her ears onto her exhausted friends' heads.

Jamie slipped past the tired trio, still in the water, "HAIR EMERGENCY! HAIR EMERGENCY!" she cried as she bobbed in the water.

The Ans sighed, explained what happened to their boat and apologized to Rachel, then went home to dry off and ice their hickies and eyes to stop any impending swelling.

.

.

.

Back at the trailer park, the boys had stripped themselves of their pirate costumes and were sitting on their couch, looking quite pleased with themselves.

After they had brought their girls home, after plundering their girls for kisses, they made Anny clean their long clothes (land clothes in pirate talk), Double-N swab the dishes, and An to cut the grass for them. Each of the girls had one of the scallywag Kankers watching them, if they even stopped for a minute to rest, the buccaneer would pillage kisses from them until they were satisfied then made the girls go back to work. The girls finally escaped by leaping into the water and swimming away from the boys, crying and covered in hickies.

The boys were a bit upset by their girls leaving so soon, but remembered they had to clean their rooms anyway, so they threw off their pirate costumes and clean their rooms up a bit, then hopped down to the first floor and relaxed into the couch.

All and all, it had been a good day, they got to play pirates, they got to kiss their girls, and they got their chores done before their dad got home.

"Today was fun." Tee said, proud of his crew.

"Aye." His brothers cheered in agreement. They chuckled for a minute before the aquarium channel presented a special on Vikings. The boys eyes widened as the announcer explained the Viking way of life.

"Can we be Vikings next?" Larie eagerly asked his brothers, imagining himself wearing a horned Viking helmet while holding Double-N close with one arm and beating away monsters that looked like kids from the cul-de-sac with a club in his other hand.

"Yeah!" Jay cried, excited, "We can pillage the cul-de-sac and get our girls again tomorrow!"

"Heh, those girls won't know what hit 'um." Tee chuckled as he and his brothers came up with their attack plan for the next day.

It was like their dad had told them, it was always good to spice up a relationship with a little role-playing.


End file.
